The Wrong Guy . . . But That Girl is Oh So Right!
An all star cast. Sir Ben Kingsley, Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis are joined by Josh Hartnett and, the greatest actress never to return my phone calls, Lucy Liu, in Lucky Number Slevin . . . a pretty dumb title. So dumb, in fact, that the film’s Australian distributors insisted on a title change to The Wrong Man – a pretty reasonable request since the tagline of Lucky Number Slevin is Wrong Time. Wrong Place. Wrong Number.
    At the risk of digressing, a small name change of Lucy’s character could have given us a title of “The Wrong Man with the Wong Girl.” Still better than “Slevin”.
    Why is Slevin such a crap title? Because it means nothing. Slevin is Josh Hartnett at best the sixth most significant actor in this motion picture. He doesn’t hold the film up, he’s in the middle of it but he isn’t holding up either end.
    This film is built up around Lucy Liu in her character as sexy, smart, gregarious, adventure loving and (did I mention) sexy coroner. Let’s face it, if Lucy was cast as Eva Braun alongside Mel Gibson in some future film production entitled “Adolf: It seemed like a good idea at the time” I’d still say she was perfect.
    In the interests of objectivity I’ll concede that Morgan Freeman’s portrayal of an intelligent, softly spoken and ultimately powerful character was more than adequate. The producers were right on the money with this piece of casting. Who better to play Morgan Freeman than Morgan Freeman. Do you think movie folks can get finance by telling the big Hollywood Jews that you’ll get Tom Cruise to play Tom Cruise?
    Ben Kingsley . . . sorry, Sir Ben Kingsley plays the Rabbi, a Jewish crime boss whose disdain of Muslims extends back into the last century when he was Gandhi ad drove the Indian Muslims into Pakistan. His was very much a meld of three characters, Erica Bana from Munich, Adam Goldberg from The Hebrew Hammer and Larry David from the last series of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The Rabbi is a tough Jew willing to lay the Hebrew guilt trip on anybody while not really giving a shit.
     Kingsley is in fact as Jewish as I am, twice removed on his mother’s side . . . but that’s still enough to get a gig in Hollywood. And it’s far better than being related to a Swiss Banker no matter how far removed (the chosen  people still wait the day when Jerry Seinfeld, in a motion picture of that same name, wrings the neck of a bank manager in Zurich shouting: “Show Me The Money! Show Me The Money!”)
     Back to Lucky Number Slevin and, in line with its casting philosophy, Bruce Willis is hired to play a stretch roll (ie: himself). Stanley Tucci has a bit part as a cop who plays numbers rackets and bets on the nags. Stan’s character is integral to the plot and because he’s a more accomplished actor than Hartnett that makes him more important.
     This film has the scent of a multi-layered film noir (though don’t ask me what that means). It’s good but not great. Clever but not ingenious. Funny but not hilarious. Violent but not gratuitously so.
    Slevin’s degenerate gambler father is killed after fleecing an SP bookie, the bookie kills Mother Slevin to make a point and an out of town contractor is hired to kill the boy so he won’t come back in twenty years to exact revenge. It’s hardly Da Vinci Code fodder to work out that baby Slevin wasn’t wacked – hence he becomes the wrong guy. 
    Josh Hartnett is the lead but he doesn’t really lead, he gets swamped by bigger talent — happens to me all the time. At 28 years old, he’s too old to play a likeable upstart college kid and too young to play a grown up role with any substance. My predication is he’ll be a Hollywood journeyman for years to come . . . if there’s greatness in his future I can’t see it. Then again, I bet my house that Heath Ledger wouldn’t be nominated for anything more significant than a week of rehab at Betty Ford (some argue that that predication still holds true).
    Who cares if I’m right or wrong about Josh, the guy work maybe half of the time, is pulling down a solid seven figure salary and is dating Scarlett Johansson. The only thing better would be working 80 hours a week, still being flat broke but dating Lucy Liu. So look out Hartnett, I’m two-thirds of the way to overtaking you — now guess which two-thirds.